Dare to Dream

Sometime around mid-February, Terry and I were out having a nice dinner and good conversation. I was telling him about an author’s bio that I had read earlier that day on Amazon (I REALLY wish I could remember who it was!) and how inspired I was.

You see, in her bio, she told the story about how one day, as she was driving home from the job she hated, she realized that she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t stand to be in her dead-end, unfulfilling job, climbing a ladder to nowhere. The feeling was SO overwhelming that, on a whim, she picked up her phone, called her boss and told him that she quit. As it happens, she was driving a company car home, so she also parked at the nearest Starbucks and told him where he could pick up the car.

Then, she made a second call to her husband and asked him to pick her up at the Starbucks. When he asked her if her car had broken down she replied, “No, I just quit my job and need a ride home.”

BAM! Just like that.

As I was reading her story…I knew that I yearned to do the EXACT same thing. Well, obviously, not in regards to the company car, but the quitting my dissatisfying job, jumping off the cliff and reaching for my dream to become an author.

It got me to thinking about all the times I’ve made big changes in my life and I realized something about myself. All of the changes, up until this point, that I have made in my life have been made under duress or due to a stressful situation. They’ve been a reaction to something.

Most of those somethings have usually included whatever man was in my life at the time and either getting into or out of a relationship. The only other catalyst that has inspired me to make a major change is when I’ve moved or relocated somewhere- which have also usually been due to the man in my life.

I want to fix that. No, I NEED to fix that. My birthday is coming up in April and I’m fast approaching the end of my 35th year on this world. If I don’t start having the courage to pursue my dreams now, when am I ever going to?

So, that’s what I’m going to do. At the end of this year, I’m going to quit my comfortable, well paying job and try my hand at becoming a full time writer. Terry and I decided that it would be best to wait until the end of the year so that we have some time to do last-minute saving.

What’s even better was how supportive and understanding Terry is about this! He’s embracing the idea and backing me fully. Granted, we’re very lucky to be in the position where we can live off his salary alone. In fact, I can’t think of a better time to try something like this, since it’s just the two of us (no kids will be hurt in this experiment) and our mortgage and bills aren’t so high we can’t afford them.

The minute it was decided this will be our plan, I felt such a sense of relief and excitement wash over me. It was like getting that first glimpse of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

That’s not to say I’m not a little anxious and nervous. I mean, what if I can’t produce? What if nobody likes what I write? What if this whole attempt ends up being a giant belly flop?

However, when given the choice of facing those fears or years more of this drudging, uninspiring nothingness that I’m currently feeling- I’d rather at least try!

In the meantime, I’m not going to wait until the end of the year to start thinking of story ideas, characters and whatnot. I’m going to try learning some discipline with my writing.

I’m also going to give Nanowrimo a shot this year. I first heard about it a couple of years ago, but hadn’t really gotten up the courage to attempt it. I figure, I can use it as a dry test run. The timing will actually be perfect, since it’s in November and will be right before our plan will go into action.

Incidentally, I ran across this little video since making this decision. I think it perfectly captures how I’m feeling right now.


10 comments on “Dare to Dream

  1. I always love watching this video. I probably should watch it once a week at least! My favorite part… “all retch and no vomit… it never gets there.” If that’s not a visual, I don’t know what is!

    I applaud your enthusiasm and drive to do what you love. I’ve got at least 15 years on you and after some major interruptions in my ‘normal’ life including my career in recent years, I’ve really dug my feet in about not returning to the old type of work. I’ve been intent on doing work that suits me better, something that I can truly enjoy. I enjoy writing as well, and have at least focused my attention on a day job that allows me to exercise that skill set and allows me enough time and energy to write for pleasure in my free time. I don’t have someone else’s salary to depend on, so I’ve simplified my lifestyle and am somehow making due on part-time work right now. It’s kind of scary not having a big paycheck coming in, but even with that, I feel better with this kind of life. At least you don’t have that concern, so GO FOR IT!!! And good luck!!

    I’ve not yet written a novel but have many ideas and might be consider NaNoWriMo this year,too. Oh, lord… can’t believe I just said that!!! 🙂

    • Janyaa says:

      Saying what you intend out loud and committing to that intent is the first step! I’m nervous to say I’ll be doing nano this year, which is why I made myself write it down. Perhaps we can be each other’s cheerleaders?

      I haven’t written a novel, and that self-doubt and fear creeps when I think about it. I think the only way I’ll get over it is if I just buckle down and do it.

      Oh! Also, the “all retch and no vomit” line is my favorite, too!

  2. ngnrdgrl says:

    Janyaa!!! I’m so excited for you. I went in thinking, “oh, this girl needs to make a change in her life.” Then you go out there and announce you are going to do it! And in a BIG way!!! You go girl!!! This is awesome! I’m so happy for you!

    That video is awesome. We all need to strive to find something meaningful in our lives. Worrying about money isn’t the right way to get there.

    I’ve been asking my fiance for years if he wanted to go back to school for something more suited to his interests. He hated what he was doing. He said “no” every time I asked, because he already has student loans and financially he didn’t think it was the responsible thing to do.

    Well, he got laid off early last year. This was wonderful news. Yeah, it sucked in the moment, but because of it he qualified for several worker retraining benefit programs. He’s now enrolled in school, working towards a job that is more fulfilling to him. I’m so proud of him.

    I’ll be your cheer leader! Go, Janyaa!!! You can do it!!! 😀

    • Janyaa says:

      Thanks! My mother-in-law and a few others think I’m crazy. They think I should keep my job and just try to write on the side…which would probably be the wiser course of action.

      I don’t know why, but I don’t ever seem to make changes unless I’m in an uncomfortable situation. I kind of need that kick in the pants that forces me to sink or swim. If I keep doing this job, I know I’ll wind up just treading water and never really getting anywhere.

      Kind of like your fiancee, sometimes you need the universe to just give you a solid push! I’m glad to hear he’s doing so well and pursuing something that will make him happier!

      Thanks for the encouragement! I have a feeling I’ll be questioning my decision and resolve at some point. Right now I’m experiencing the euphoric first blush of hope and change. Talk to me in December when it actually comes time to quit and produce publishable, written work. 😉

  3. Matthew John says:

    You are only allowed to do this with the understanding that I get I regular .PDFs of your work to read :):)
    Also: I got 1 weekend without following a bookmark to your page and end up with THREE(!) posts to read! ❤ your momentary bursts of inspiration/creativity/boredom!

    • Janyaa says:

      Well, the first books will probably be romance, so you may not be interested in reading them! However, if you’re still interested, of course I’ll let you get a preview. 🙂

      I’m also interested in writing a post-apocalyptic at some point. (Which might be more to your liking.)

      Re: 3 posts in one weekend… I wouldn’t want to become too predictable. If there’s one thing that can be said about me, I’m consistently inconsistent! ❤

  4. huge says:

    What an opportunity! Even though you’re leaving work, you’ll have to treat your writing like going to work. Get a daily routine, have a writing ‘office/space’, shut down your internet connection and put in a set amount of hours – and overtime!

    It takes real courage to step out of the rat race. Top marks to Terry too for his support… He must be a gentleman and a scholar.

    • Janyaa says:

      I absolutely agree! I’m going to work on establishing a habit so I can hit the ground running.

      In fact, my errant self-discipline is one of the things I’m most nervous about. But, when I think of the bigger picture, it seems like such a stupid reason to fail from achieving my dreams. Especially since it would be self-inflicted.

      My husband is an amazingly loving and understanding man. I feel so lucky and happy to be with him! Check out my “Love in Thai” post for the story of how we got together. 🙂

  5. […] be honest, I don’t know even where to begin. How about a few highlights? A couple of posts ago, I wrote about wanting to jump tracks. I felt like I was headed in exactly the wrong direction […]

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