Sometime around mid-February, Terry and I were out having a nice dinner and good conversation. I was telling him about an author’s bio that I had read earlier that day on Amazon (I REALLY wish I could remember who it was!) and how inspired I was.
You see, in her bio, she told the story about how one day, as she was driving home from the job she hated, she realized that she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t stand to be in her dead-end, unfulfilling job, climbing a ladder to nowhere. The feeling was SO overwhelming that, on a whim, she picked up her phone, called her boss and told him that she quit. As it happens, she was driving a company car home, so she also parked at the nearest Starbucks and told him where he could pick up the car.
Then, she made a second call to her husband and asked him to pick her up at the Starbucks. When he asked her if her car had broken down she replied, “No, I just quit my job and need a ride home.”
BAM! Just like that.
As I was reading her story…I knew that I yearned to do the EXACT same thing. Well, obviously, not in regards to the company car, but the quitting my dissatisfying job, jumping off the cliff and reaching for my dream to become an author.
It got me to thinking about all the times I’ve made big changes in my life and I realized something about myself. All of the changes, up until this point, that I have made in my life have been made under duress or due to a stressful situation. They’ve been a reaction to something.
Most of those somethings have usually included whatever man was in my life at the time and either getting into or out of a relationship. The only other catalyst that has inspired me to make a major change is when I’ve moved or relocated somewhere- which have also usually been due to the man in my life.
I want to fix that. No, I NEED to fix that. My birthday is coming up in April and I’m fast approaching the end of my 35th year on this world. If I don’t start having the courage to pursue my dreams now, when am I ever going to?
So, that’s what I’m going to do. At the end of this year, I’m going to quit my comfortable, well paying job and try my hand at becoming a full time writer. Terry and I decided that it would be best to wait until the end of the year so that we have some time to do last-minute saving.
What’s even better was how supportive and understanding Terry is about this! He’s embracing the idea and backing me fully. Granted, we’re very lucky to be in the position where we can live off his salary alone. In fact, I can’t think of a better time to try something like this, since it’s just the two of us (no kids will be hurt in this experiment) and our mortgage and bills aren’t so high we can’t afford them.
The minute it was decided this will be our plan, I felt such a sense of relief and excitement wash over me. It was like getting that first glimpse of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.
That’s not to say I’m not a little anxious and nervous. I mean, what if I can’t produce? What if nobody likes what I write? What if this whole attempt ends up being a giant belly flop?
However, when given the choice of facing those fears or years more of this drudging, uninspiring nothingness that I’m currently feeling- I’d rather at least try!
In the meantime, I’m not going to wait until the end of the year to start thinking of story ideas, characters and whatnot. I’m going to try learning some discipline with my writing.
I’m also going to give Nanowrimo a shot this year. I first heard about it a couple of years ago, but hadn’t really gotten up the courage to attempt it. I figure, I can use it as a dry test run. The timing will actually be perfect, since it’s in November and will be right before our plan will go into action.
Incidentally, I ran across this little video since making this decision. I think it perfectly captures how I’m feeling right now.